Meh

I promised to post pictures the very night of my last entry, but as you can very well see, that did not happen. Since I'm at a loss for a subject to write about today but with a great deal of things to take care of on the To Do list, I thought I'd upload the pictures on my camera (finally) and see what we have. So, without further ado...

Exhibit A:

War wound from last weekend's foolish "I'll move the nine million pound treadmill by myself so I can shampoo the carpets" experiment. Really cool bruises just don't photograph as well as one would hope.

Thing Two:Picture of now mostly grown up Lavender balancing precariously on the railing of the stairs. Soon after I snapped this photo she decided she was not very good at balancing precariously. It seems like only yesterday that we brought these two little kitties home...

And now even though it is horribly embarrassing to show the 'before' pictures, I simply MUST show the fruits of a full two days of my labor last weekend; crawling around on hands and knees going through a full bottle of stain remover, moving entire rooms full of furniture hither and yon, and carrying a two million pound rented carpet shampooer while limping up a flight of stairs.

Before:
After:Furniture Moved by still-a-bit-gimpy Tasha:

Solstice (who was not feeling well). Notice the dry toast Nurse Luna made for her brother:


And lastly, pictures of all the Qubicle Quilts I've had here at the homestead while listed on Etsy, which I feel would be doing a much better job of selling if they were at the gallery in Alaska. So anyone traveling up there this summer be sure to check out my lovelies at Half Moon Creek!
So you see, even when I'm silent it is not that I am doing nothing.

I am grateful for life.

New Mantra

I've decided to take up a new mantra, one of those oldies but goodies that can serve quite well when used properly. The new mantra began in earnest this morning; "everything is temporary."

It's serving me well as my leg is swelling up again, keeping me from properly exercising the way I say I want to; it's serving me well as I went out to my car yesterday morning and found some heathens had taken my stereo again; and it's serving me well as I weighed myself on the scale this morning and found it creeping up quite a bit due to the leg (and my return to poor eating habits, but shhhh).

I did get the carpets shampooed this weekend (perhaps moving all the furniture by myself wasn't the best thing for the leg), and spent some lovely time outside on a blanket reading, in lovely view of Lake Pleasantville. About seven Qubicle Quilts and four QQ Teenies will soon be on their way to Alaska, which can only mean a renewed fervor in the sewing studio is not too far behind.

And I promise to post pictures for this post tonight....

I'm grateful that I have a leg that can swell up and that I'm alive and well otherwise, that even though the kids keep getting sick it's an excuse for them to cuddle up next to me in bed, and that I have a job that challenges me to the point of exhaustion some days. Yee haw!

Signs: a Recap of the Week

I was laying in bed this morning trying hard to make myself sleep in and thinking back on my week, realizing that if there was a theme to the week it might be that there's still time to make my future so bright I gotta wear shades.

Work - It started earlier in the week when I spent some time at the other branch, talking to the other manager about where we see ourselves in the next year. We both see good change on the horizon, which I of course can't talk about here.

Kiddos - Things have worked themselves out for how the kids are going to spend their summer, and I couldn't be happier for a great number of reasons, the biggest just being that I feel I made the right choice for my own peace of mind. For their first summer ever they'll be in a structured program with weekly field trips and actual fun. Of course at this age they still think Mommy is fun, and I'll need to make sure they think that as long as possible.

Business - I'm going to put my Etsy store on hiatus for a bit while I focus on some things close by, and I'm going to mail whats been listed up to the gallery. They do a much better job of selling my stuff than I do, and maybe having empty cupboards in the sewing studio will make me feel like getting back into the groove of things and creating again. I need to get back into a rhythm, and creating has to be a part of that rhythm.

Home - Today I will be shampooing the dining room carpets! That may not seem like it fits into this post, but it does, oh MY how it does. The dining room is an area I've been avoiding at all costs because it seems to be an area that has gone through several incarnations since we've lived here, ALL of them messy. I think the art room for the 4, 5, and 6 year old junior Picasso has been the most disastrous. Or perhaps junior Jackson Pollack might be more apropos. But in any case, my avoiding this area is very detrimental to my goals for the future since it's the area that holds my exercise bike and treadmill. And yes, I still have some serious physical therapying to do so I can quit walking like Loerch.

Home (part 2) - My arch nemesis at work (located in another state) has been playing nice lately, and shared with me his own plan for world domination, and how that would mean I could fulfill my dreams of homeownership even here in Pleasantville. Isn't that the way with archnemesi (I'm POSITIVE that's the plural even though blogspot spell check simply refuses to see my way), they always dream super big. But I have to admit that PARTS of his plan made sense if I can only get some money saved...

Education - This has been a big one for me for quite awhile, a theme that keeps returning. No matter what the underlying reasons it's a very powerful thought for me that I will not feel satisfied until I have a bachelor's degree in something or other. The "which" is not important, it's the "what" that is, and that's my wanting to have a bachelor's degree. Framed... I'd wear it as a necklace. Last night was the pinning ceremony for my own dear mother at SPU for her BSN, and I can't tell you how happy I am that she has stuck this all out. For me (and this may be delving a tad too deep), when you grow up poor there are a whole lot of things that make you feel "less than" the people around you. Not being able to go to college has always been a huge one for me, and I vow to take that away from my own Baggage from Growing UP by just getting a darn degree. It can only HELP me in my professional life, since I have a whole lot of trouble understanding some of the language our CFO speaks. And he speaks to us frequently, in groups of 3 or 4, making it awkward that I won't make eye contact for fear he'll ask me if I understand.
So a degree at this point would still be a win/win. Right?

So all in all I would say things are looking up, as long as I take steps toward making them better when they aren't going so great. An easy enough concept for most people I know, but sometimes it takes me a bit of time to remember the simple things. I am almost HALF Polish you know...

Gratitudinous - My two favorite people, along with the other people that make up my family. My friends both near and far who appreciate me for the mess I am, but especially when I can find the humor in it. Health - I know it has been one of the cliches of life that people say they're grateful that they have their health when everything in life is going seemingly bad, but REALLY think about this one. I've seen too many people who I care greatly about have their lives turn on a dime in the past three months; don't wait for something bad to happen to appreciate how wonderful your life really is. Breathe in the air; appreciate what's happening around you whether rain or shine, and dance.

The Dream House

At some point in every girl's life she finds herself a dream house, and she spends her time mentally moving in dream furniture, decorating windows with dream drapery, and hanging dream family pictures on the walls. For many girls this is done when she is a child playing with her Barbie and Ken dolls, but for me the dream house was found when I was 33.

One has to dream big here in Pleasantville, because houses are not cheap. So my dream house may not be a mansion, but it is exactly the kind of place I want to raise my wee ones, and all at the recently reduced price of (gasp!) $1,490,000. Maybe this is why my dream house hasn't sold yet?

I PREFER to believe that my dream house is waiting for me to scrape up enough change in the couch to put together a good down payment....

The TWO Best People in the World

Positives

Part of getting back into the habit of writing is finding some things worth writing about. I’ve looked at some of the blogs out there, and notice that not everyone writes something that is pure genius each day, so in the spirit of blogging, I am now using one of my Free Blogger Passes, entitling me to a day of genius-free blogging. Since this blog is essentially my world and I can make up the rules as I go along, I reserve the right to use the pass whenever I feel like it. I also would like to make a commandment that anyone who comments on my blog at least PRETEND that each entry has at least a tiny element of genius, if only to stroke my fragile ego. No one has to abide by my rules, but they sure make me giggle and feel powerful to make them…

On my desk at work I have framed a piece of paper, which contains the anonymous opinions my employees at the time had of me. I was reading these snippets today and thought it would be worth sharing, at the very least so any readers I have left might know that at least somewhere, I do a good job at things. Not here on my blog always… but at least somewhere….

And so, recorded verbatim for all posterity:

“Sensitive but strong. Very knowledgeable, eager to help but always encourages everyone to explore to discover their potential and gain more self-confidence. Sense of humor and makes everyone feel a part of the team.”

“Very creative, fair and friendly.”

“Tasha is such a great supervisor, she is so hard working, easy to talk to and help our team whenever it is needed.”

“Extremely calm with members! Your patience level is amazing. Upbeat, smiling, and always ready to help anyone and everyone.”

“Tasha has more creativity in her little finger then I do in my whole body. I am amazed at how well she balances work with home life.”

“Tasha looks at things from all angles, she rarely gets worked up, and she handles problems eagerly, efficiently and well. She is funny with a great sense of humor and keeps things fair.”

“Fair and balanced, no spin zone, kind and attentive, supportive and sensitive.”

“This girl has got some phone skills! She has one of the toughest jobs in case y’all didn’t know. You know those negative comments that we occasionally get back on our comment cards or surveys? Well guess who has to call these people to try to smooth things out…. That’s right, miss Tasha! And let me tell you, she does one heck of a job! I can only imagine what’s flowing into her ear on the other end, but through all of it she remains very friendly and completely understanding. Very impressive Tasha!”

“She really has lots of patience with me and members also. She has soothing and calm voice just listen to her. But whenever I look at her she thinks I have questions or problems ;o).”

“Very knowledgeable.”

“She is the most patient person I am lucky enough to know. She is so creative and talented. She manages to juggle work and profitable fun and family and life. WOW!”

And so it goes that at least once in my career here, I have been liked.

Hello Hello

I owe a debt of gratitude to my friend Jennifer for reminding me that I'm not dead, and so have no real excuse for not posting to my blog. I don't know what has kept me away for so long, except to admit that I've been stuck in a bit of the doldrums for some months now. Not wanting to exert any energy into putting negativity out into the world I though it best to hold back for a bit... A bit that turned into a month and a half. But here I am again, saying hello to anyone that will still have me. I feel an upswing is on the horizon and things will soon be shiny and happy once again. Probably as soon as I start sewing again, which begs one answer the creative person's chicken/egg dilemma - do I have to be happy to create, or does creating make me happy? Riddle me that, Batman!

Grateful things: My two favorite people in the world are thriving and loving life; it's always darkest before the dawn; Sara and my other friends who let me work through things out loud; and my job, which has become every bit as challenging as I need it to be. I am learning some amazing lessons about needing to dance now, because you only have one life.

The Way Things Are

Today's horoscope (courtesy of Sara), which kind of sums things up...

Today's Leo Horoscope: Apr 11, 2008

Everyone must once in a while analyze
their lives. But when you ponder over your life, you tend to be too
pessimistic. You get carried away easily and often exaggerate. Today, as you
think about your life, try not listening to that little voice in your head.
Your life is far from being the way you think it is.

Hmm....

I'm greatful for Sara, the other wonderful friends in my life, the healthy and amazing kiddos, and of course the possibilities. Life would be nothing without the possibilities.

I'm Still Standing(ish)!

The last month has FLOWN by, and I only wish I had more exciting news to report. The truth of the matter is that (as every stranger on the street has felt compelled to tell me) this injury is a doozy to heal, and you aren’t out flipping cartwheels (or cleaning house) while the process is taking place. Quite honestly most of my energy is spent during the hours I’m at the day job, and by the time I crutch my way from the front door to the couch I’m literally spent. Being the single mother of two kids when you’re on crutches can really be trying when all the light bulbs in the house start going out at once in some kind of synchronized taunt. Should we even MENTION the disastrous attempt at Easy Mac by the two enterprising young children of mine; an attempt which resulted in a small fire, the smell of burnt plastic indelibly permeating the entire house to this day, and blackened lumps of macaroni being scraped out of the previously brand new microwave.

Circumstances being what they are though I have no REAL complaints worth anyone’s time reading about… I am healing very well and any pain has been completely bearable. According to the surgeon I have an incredibly high tolerance for pain, which seems to be serving me quite well for the time being. The light bulbs have been refreshed thanks to a surprise visit from the 6’7 ex a week ago, and the dishes have been done by a surprise visit from the 5’11 ex (and father of the kiddos) for this week’s Spring Break. Tomorrow marks the official 7 week anniversary of “the accident”, and though I’m still on crutches I’m fortunate enough to keep losing weight on them… which was one of the more vain of my concerns if you’ll remember… LOL

I’m grateful that I remain friends with my exes, that the kids haven’t completely lost patience with me yet, that I can still wear at least one cute shoe at a time, that I’ve made some new friends due to being out of commission for so long, and that through it all I see definite signs of promise on the horizon. Now if only we could MEET….

- Tasha

Monumental

The surgery is over, and I have survived mostly unscathed... with virtually all of my pre-surgery fears proven unfounded. Having pre-surgery fears cannot be helped really, when you have the type of doctor who says in your pre-op appointment "You don't need to worry about the anesthesia at all, if you REALLY want something to worry about, you need to worry about the actual surgery. THAT'S where all the really bad stuff can happen...". And if that wasn't enough, at about 2am the morning of surgery the thought occured to me that I'd be operated on lying on my stomach in one of those back-baring hospital gowns. I couldn't sleep after that, and quickly sent messages to anyone who would talk to me at that hour asking whether I would be able to wear underwear during surgery. The universal answer which got my heart pounding erratically? No. The actual truth? Yes. Never listen to your friends at 2am... they're not likely to be comforting.

So I'm recuperating nicely at my Mom's house, spending my time between the couch and a chair and the occasional torture of having someone put an 8 hour recorded-from-PBS VHS tape into the tv and leaving me, helpless. I haven't had to take any of the doctor prescribed pain medication, and other than only sleeping an hour the first night, things seem to be going along just swimmingly. Now if only I could shower!

I'm greatful for the remote control, the first two seasons of Arrested Development on DVD, cherry Pop-Tarts, and having painted my toenails two days before surgery. Oh yeah, and my family has been pretty great too. Woo Hoo!

Bright One

It has come to my attention that I used to be funny... not just regular run-of-the-mill funny, but the kind of funny so BRILLIANT, that when I read some of my own letters I didn't recognize the girl that had written them. Where did that girl go?

Maybe the surgery tomorrow will reattach my funny bone. What's that you say? Surgery? Oh yes... when I fall down I fall down BIG. No half ass twisted ankle for me... no ma'am. TORN achilles tendon plus a fracture... the whole kit and kaboodle so they say. I'm playing up the "sports injury" part of my idiocy so I can seem more cool. And when people ask me how good I was at soccer, I insist that I was cut down in my prime and that I was on the verge of being discovered. After all... ANYTHING's possible. So where IS the funny bone located anyway?

I'm grateful for Supes, lunch with Khumo, working with a GREAT bunch of people, and kids who are amazingly helpful. Now I'm off to recuperate on my Mom's couch!

Oh the Humanity!

I have just returned from a WHIRLWIND two day trip for work to Beaverton Oregon, which meant that I spent my Valentine's Day in a room full of other Branch Managers and People of Importance and couldn't spend the day crying into my Cheerios. At our catered lunch of pizza and salad, I did decide to choose for myself the HEART shaped cookie out of the plastic clamshell of choices, and felt that somehow my heart shaped cookie was a sign that NEXT Valentine's will be much better. I mean really... it can't get any worse than the year husband number one told me weeks in advance that he had a "surprise" for me, then told me on THAT day (he waited until VALENTINE'S DAY???! Yep... that's the kinda gent I married at 20) that he was leaving me. Ahhh.... memories. So I'm holding out this time for the kinda guy that won't send me messages that require a translator, that doesn't drive a Hummer, that can keep up with my acerbic wit, that picks the RIGHT 5 songs, and that doesn't save bad news for momentous occasions, thereby ruining said occasions for the remainder of time. That's a good list to start with!

So now I feel a duty to share with you the embarrassing events of Friday/Saturday; in which I injured myself playing soccer with the big boys when I've only played twice, sat for 4 hours at the "Urgent" Care facilities to see what the heck I did, and hobbled out on crutches to dinner with my kiddos, Aunt, Mom, and Grandma and flirted with the waiter.
How the heck am I going to lose 30 more pounds in the next three months if I'm on crutches?!