Allow myself to introduce... myself


Wednesday, October 1, 2008

How to Remove Bubblegum from the Dryer (and other hints to retain your sanity)

  1. Discover mysterious black skid marks coating the interior of the dryer. Trace the origin back to the offending wad of gum, which will be lodged on the undersides of one of the fin-things in the drum of the dryer. Curse twice under your breath.
  2. Scream at the nearest child. Remind them that they are not yet allowed to chew gum for reasons JUST LIKE THIS.
  3. Try to scrape cold gum out from inside dryer. Recognize that the gum has fused with the metal, and has now become one with the dryer.
  4. Recognize that the gum has only fused with the metal while the dryer is cold. Once the dryer is warm and drying a load of, say, black work clothes, the gum will fuse with the work clothes.
  5. Turn dryer on to let it heat up the gum. Curse three more times under your breath and find yourself muttering things your mother used to say, such as, "All day I work my fingers to the bone, and this is the thanks I get?". Since no one is around to hear you say this, it's okay to laugh at yourself because you KNOW you don't really work your fingers to the bone. You're a credit union branch manager, not a coal miner.
  6. Open the dryer and scrub the gum off with the plastic cup that you use to measure the laundry detergent.
  7. Realize that the entire reason you need to do a load of laundry right now is that your nine year old daughter's only pair of tennis shoes are coated with dog poop. Decide that the dog poop-covered tennis shoes should do an excellent job of removing the rest of the gum from inside the dryer.
  8. Laugh.