I Dream of Vacation

So I was feeling frustrated yesterday, and one of the things I do during these moments is a Google search. Don't ask me why, but there can be something therapeutic in knowing that all that information is available at your fingertips, and no matter what words you put into that search box Google will have SOMETHING to spit back out.

And that is how I came to be searching the words "vacations for tall people"

I have to tell you, this search did not help to end my frustrations. For one thing, to vacation at this point in my life is to dream. For whatever reason though, us women are dreamers... and I like my dreams to be specific. I want my dream vacation MAPPED OUT in my mind. I want to have a target to shoot for. Easy enough right?

Insert Travelous. Travelous of the 6'7" tall Travelous (2 metres for my metric reader(s) - readers and metric conversion BOTH courtesy of Google...) who is too tall for many beds in this country, and apparently everything else in other countries. I found page after page in my enlightening Google search of warnings to travelers that tall people are the pariahs of the tourism industry. A review for the Hotel Little Regina in Paris states specifically "not for Families or Tall people" - which doubly excludes us. A link to the site for Green River Marina in Kentucky (??) where you can rent house boats for your vacation explains that "life preservers are provided (excludes toddlers, infants and Big & Tall)" which is basically saying that chunky butt better know how to swim or he can just drown. I did find one hopeful destination, but imagine my dismay when I clicked on this entry Sailing holidays in Greece with tall people accessible yachts and found that the actual name of this site, their actual web address is http://www.disabledsailingholidays.com/. And yes, they say their sailing trips are perfect for those who are wheelchair bound, visually impaired, or very tall. Admirable indeed, but I had NO IDEA we were in that category by virtue of having to duck through a couple of doorways. And by 'we' I mean Travelous, because at 5'7" (1.7 metres) I am a full 12 inches (30 cm) shorter than him. Which means that the "tall rooms" that you can book at the Hotel Monaco in Chicago aren't doing ME any favors, with their 9 foot long king sized bed, extra tall bathrobes, and super high shower head, sinks, and countertops.

And lest I think it couldn't get any worse, my beloved Google stopped finding vacation destinations altogether, and started giving me links with "tall" and "people", and that's when I realized that tall people envy has turned into tall people dislike, especially amongst bitter (presumably short) male bloggers. There was this entry: "apparently tall people are better at time management, because they are all up close to the fence" that I never could quite get a handle on, along with rants about sitting at the theater behind a tall person, how tall people get paid more money (huh?), and tall people sticking their knees in the seatbacks of innocent travelers. Quite frankly I became frightened to travel at all with my tall person, and am rethinking being seen with him in public. After all, this Google find:

"I would cringe whenever I saw people looking at me in 'that way.' Tall people know what 'that way' means. A look of shock, disgust, horror - or, even worse, ..."

had me too scared to even click on the link to see where it would take me. Who knows what other horrors the world's tall people have been subjected to, besides (in my house) seeing the dust on top of the refrigerator and being asked to change all the lightbulbs. I originally thought it was cute when the little old man came up to us in Costco and asked Travelous what team he played for, but maybe I should rethink things a bit and recognize that all of these people, these tall haters... all of these people are Lilliputians, and they're threatening MY travels.

So for now we'll have to take our adventures where we can find 'em.
~Tasha