Signs: a Recap of the Week

I was laying in bed this morning trying hard to make myself sleep in and thinking back on my week, realizing that if there was a theme to the week it might be that there's still time to make my future so bright I gotta wear shades.

Work - It started earlier in the week when I spent some time at the other branch, talking to the other manager about where we see ourselves in the next year. We both see good change on the horizon, which I of course can't talk about here.

Kiddos - Things have worked themselves out for how the kids are going to spend their summer, and I couldn't be happier for a great number of reasons, the biggest just being that I feel I made the right choice for my own peace of mind. For their first summer ever they'll be in a structured program with weekly field trips and actual fun. Of course at this age they still think Mommy is fun, and I'll need to make sure they think that as long as possible.

Business - I'm going to put my Etsy store on hiatus for a bit while I focus on some things close by, and I'm going to mail whats been listed up to the gallery. They do a much better job of selling my stuff than I do, and maybe having empty cupboards in the sewing studio will make me feel like getting back into the groove of things and creating again. I need to get back into a rhythm, and creating has to be a part of that rhythm.

Home - Today I will be shampooing the dining room carpets! That may not seem like it fits into this post, but it does, oh MY how it does. The dining room is an area I've been avoiding at all costs because it seems to be an area that has gone through several incarnations since we've lived here, ALL of them messy. I think the art room for the 4, 5, and 6 year old junior Picasso has been the most disastrous. Or perhaps junior Jackson Pollack might be more apropos. But in any case, my avoiding this area is very detrimental to my goals for the future since it's the area that holds my exercise bike and treadmill. And yes, I still have some serious physical therapying to do so I can quit walking like Loerch.

Home (part 2) - My arch nemesis at work (located in another state) has been playing nice lately, and shared with me his own plan for world domination, and how that would mean I could fulfill my dreams of homeownership even here in Pleasantville. Isn't that the way with archnemesi (I'm POSITIVE that's the plural even though blogspot spell check simply refuses to see my way), they always dream super big. But I have to admit that PARTS of his plan made sense if I can only get some money saved...

Education - This has been a big one for me for quite awhile, a theme that keeps returning. No matter what the underlying reasons it's a very powerful thought for me that I will not feel satisfied until I have a bachelor's degree in something or other. The "which" is not important, it's the "what" that is, and that's my wanting to have a bachelor's degree. Framed... I'd wear it as a necklace. Last night was the pinning ceremony for my own dear mother at SPU for her BSN, and I can't tell you how happy I am that she has stuck this all out. For me (and this may be delving a tad too deep), when you grow up poor there are a whole lot of things that make you feel "less than" the people around you. Not being able to go to college has always been a huge one for me, and I vow to take that away from my own Baggage from Growing UP by just getting a darn degree. It can only HELP me in my professional life, since I have a whole lot of trouble understanding some of the language our CFO speaks. And he speaks to us frequently, in groups of 3 or 4, making it awkward that I won't make eye contact for fear he'll ask me if I understand.
So a degree at this point would still be a win/win. Right?

So all in all I would say things are looking up, as long as I take steps toward making them better when they aren't going so great. An easy enough concept for most people I know, but sometimes it takes me a bit of time to remember the simple things. I am almost HALF Polish you know...

Gratitudinous - My two favorite people, along with the other people that make up my family. My friends both near and far who appreciate me for the mess I am, but especially when I can find the humor in it. Health - I know it has been one of the cliches of life that people say they're grateful that they have their health when everything in life is going seemingly bad, but REALLY think about this one. I've seen too many people who I care greatly about have their lives turn on a dime in the past three months; don't wait for something bad to happen to appreciate how wonderful your life really is. Breathe in the air; appreciate what's happening around you whether rain or shine, and dance.

The Dream House

At some point in every girl's life she finds herself a dream house, and she spends her time mentally moving in dream furniture, decorating windows with dream drapery, and hanging dream family pictures on the walls. For many girls this is done when she is a child playing with her Barbie and Ken dolls, but for me the dream house was found when I was 33.

One has to dream big here in Pleasantville, because houses are not cheap. So my dream house may not be a mansion, but it is exactly the kind of place I want to raise my wee ones, and all at the recently reduced price of (gasp!) $1,490,000. Maybe this is why my dream house hasn't sold yet?

I PREFER to believe that my dream house is waiting for me to scrape up enough change in the couch to put together a good down payment....

The TWO Best People in the World

Positives

Part of getting back into the habit of writing is finding some things worth writing about. I’ve looked at some of the blogs out there, and notice that not everyone writes something that is pure genius each day, so in the spirit of blogging, I am now using one of my Free Blogger Passes, entitling me to a day of genius-free blogging. Since this blog is essentially my world and I can make up the rules as I go along, I reserve the right to use the pass whenever I feel like it. I also would like to make a commandment that anyone who comments on my blog at least PRETEND that each entry has at least a tiny element of genius, if only to stroke my fragile ego. No one has to abide by my rules, but they sure make me giggle and feel powerful to make them…

On my desk at work I have framed a piece of paper, which contains the anonymous opinions my employees at the time had of me. I was reading these snippets today and thought it would be worth sharing, at the very least so any readers I have left might know that at least somewhere, I do a good job at things. Not here on my blog always… but at least somewhere….

And so, recorded verbatim for all posterity:

“Sensitive but strong. Very knowledgeable, eager to help but always encourages everyone to explore to discover their potential and gain more self-confidence. Sense of humor and makes everyone feel a part of the team.”

“Very creative, fair and friendly.”

“Tasha is such a great supervisor, she is so hard working, easy to talk to and help our team whenever it is needed.”

“Extremely calm with members! Your patience level is amazing. Upbeat, smiling, and always ready to help anyone and everyone.”

“Tasha has more creativity in her little finger then I do in my whole body. I am amazed at how well she balances work with home life.”

“Tasha looks at things from all angles, she rarely gets worked up, and she handles problems eagerly, efficiently and well. She is funny with a great sense of humor and keeps things fair.”

“Fair and balanced, no spin zone, kind and attentive, supportive and sensitive.”

“This girl has got some phone skills! She has one of the toughest jobs in case y’all didn’t know. You know those negative comments that we occasionally get back on our comment cards or surveys? Well guess who has to call these people to try to smooth things out…. That’s right, miss Tasha! And let me tell you, she does one heck of a job! I can only imagine what’s flowing into her ear on the other end, but through all of it she remains very friendly and completely understanding. Very impressive Tasha!”

“She really has lots of patience with me and members also. She has soothing and calm voice just listen to her. But whenever I look at her she thinks I have questions or problems ;o).”

“Very knowledgeable.”

“She is the most patient person I am lucky enough to know. She is so creative and talented. She manages to juggle work and profitable fun and family and life. WOW!”

And so it goes that at least once in my career here, I have been liked.

Hello Hello

I owe a debt of gratitude to my friend Jennifer for reminding me that I'm not dead, and so have no real excuse for not posting to my blog. I don't know what has kept me away for so long, except to admit that I've been stuck in a bit of the doldrums for some months now. Not wanting to exert any energy into putting negativity out into the world I though it best to hold back for a bit... A bit that turned into a month and a half. But here I am again, saying hello to anyone that will still have me. I feel an upswing is on the horizon and things will soon be shiny and happy once again. Probably as soon as I start sewing again, which begs one answer the creative person's chicken/egg dilemma - do I have to be happy to create, or does creating make me happy? Riddle me that, Batman!

Grateful things: My two favorite people in the world are thriving and loving life; it's always darkest before the dawn; Sara and my other friends who let me work through things out loud; and my job, which has become every bit as challenging as I need it to be. I am learning some amazing lessons about needing to dance now, because you only have one life.

The Way Things Are

Today's horoscope (courtesy of Sara), which kind of sums things up...

Today's Leo Horoscope: Apr 11, 2008

Everyone must once in a while analyze
their lives. But when you ponder over your life, you tend to be too
pessimistic. You get carried away easily and often exaggerate. Today, as you
think about your life, try not listening to that little voice in your head.
Your life is far from being the way you think it is.

Hmm....

I'm greatful for Sara, the other wonderful friends in my life, the healthy and amazing kiddos, and of course the possibilities. Life would be nothing without the possibilities.

I'm Still Standing(ish)!

The last month has FLOWN by, and I only wish I had more exciting news to report. The truth of the matter is that (as every stranger on the street has felt compelled to tell me) this injury is a doozy to heal, and you aren’t out flipping cartwheels (or cleaning house) while the process is taking place. Quite honestly most of my energy is spent during the hours I’m at the day job, and by the time I crutch my way from the front door to the couch I’m literally spent. Being the single mother of two kids when you’re on crutches can really be trying when all the light bulbs in the house start going out at once in some kind of synchronized taunt. Should we even MENTION the disastrous attempt at Easy Mac by the two enterprising young children of mine; an attempt which resulted in a small fire, the smell of burnt plastic indelibly permeating the entire house to this day, and blackened lumps of macaroni being scraped out of the previously brand new microwave.

Circumstances being what they are though I have no REAL complaints worth anyone’s time reading about… I am healing very well and any pain has been completely bearable. According to the surgeon I have an incredibly high tolerance for pain, which seems to be serving me quite well for the time being. The light bulbs have been refreshed thanks to a surprise visit from the 6’7 ex a week ago, and the dishes have been done by a surprise visit from the 5’11 ex (and father of the kiddos) for this week’s Spring Break. Tomorrow marks the official 7 week anniversary of “the accident”, and though I’m still on crutches I’m fortunate enough to keep losing weight on them… which was one of the more vain of my concerns if you’ll remember… LOL

I’m grateful that I remain friends with my exes, that the kids haven’t completely lost patience with me yet, that I can still wear at least one cute shoe at a time, that I’ve made some new friends due to being out of commission for so long, and that through it all I see definite signs of promise on the horizon. Now if only we could MEET….

- Tasha

Monumental

The surgery is over, and I have survived mostly unscathed... with virtually all of my pre-surgery fears proven unfounded. Having pre-surgery fears cannot be helped really, when you have the type of doctor who says in your pre-op appointment "You don't need to worry about the anesthesia at all, if you REALLY want something to worry about, you need to worry about the actual surgery. THAT'S where all the really bad stuff can happen...". And if that wasn't enough, at about 2am the morning of surgery the thought occured to me that I'd be operated on lying on my stomach in one of those back-baring hospital gowns. I couldn't sleep after that, and quickly sent messages to anyone who would talk to me at that hour asking whether I would be able to wear underwear during surgery. The universal answer which got my heart pounding erratically? No. The actual truth? Yes. Never listen to your friends at 2am... they're not likely to be comforting.

So I'm recuperating nicely at my Mom's house, spending my time between the couch and a chair and the occasional torture of having someone put an 8 hour recorded-from-PBS VHS tape into the tv and leaving me, helpless. I haven't had to take any of the doctor prescribed pain medication, and other than only sleeping an hour the first night, things seem to be going along just swimmingly. Now if only I could shower!

I'm greatful for the remote control, the first two seasons of Arrested Development on DVD, cherry Pop-Tarts, and having painted my toenails two days before surgery. Oh yeah, and my family has been pretty great too. Woo Hoo!

Bright One

It has come to my attention that I used to be funny... not just regular run-of-the-mill funny, but the kind of funny so BRILLIANT, that when I read some of my own letters I didn't recognize the girl that had written them. Where did that girl go?

Maybe the surgery tomorrow will reattach my funny bone. What's that you say? Surgery? Oh yes... when I fall down I fall down BIG. No half ass twisted ankle for me... no ma'am. TORN achilles tendon plus a fracture... the whole kit and kaboodle so they say. I'm playing up the "sports injury" part of my idiocy so I can seem more cool. And when people ask me how good I was at soccer, I insist that I was cut down in my prime and that I was on the verge of being discovered. After all... ANYTHING's possible. So where IS the funny bone located anyway?

I'm grateful for Supes, lunch with Khumo, working with a GREAT bunch of people, and kids who are amazingly helpful. Now I'm off to recuperate on my Mom's couch!

Oh the Humanity!

I have just returned from a WHIRLWIND two day trip for work to Beaverton Oregon, which meant that I spent my Valentine's Day in a room full of other Branch Managers and People of Importance and couldn't spend the day crying into my Cheerios. At our catered lunch of pizza and salad, I did decide to choose for myself the HEART shaped cookie out of the plastic clamshell of choices, and felt that somehow my heart shaped cookie was a sign that NEXT Valentine's will be much better. I mean really... it can't get any worse than the year husband number one told me weeks in advance that he had a "surprise" for me, then told me on THAT day (he waited until VALENTINE'S DAY???! Yep... that's the kinda gent I married at 20) that he was leaving me. Ahhh.... memories. So I'm holding out this time for the kinda guy that won't send me messages that require a translator, that doesn't drive a Hummer, that can keep up with my acerbic wit, that picks the RIGHT 5 songs, and that doesn't save bad news for momentous occasions, thereby ruining said occasions for the remainder of time. That's a good list to start with!

So now I feel a duty to share with you the embarrassing events of Friday/Saturday; in which I injured myself playing soccer with the big boys when I've only played twice, sat for 4 hours at the "Urgent" Care facilities to see what the heck I did, and hobbled out on crutches to dinner with my kiddos, Aunt, Mom, and Grandma and flirted with the waiter.
How the heck am I going to lose 30 more pounds in the next three months if I'm on crutches?!

Star Stuff and Babel Fish

Apparently it takes all kinds to make the world go ‘round, and the particularly TRYING kinds like to send me messages. I’ve been having a bit of trouble lately with translating the actual meaning of what some of these people were trying to say, so leave it to wonderful Sara once again to show me the light. The AltaVista Babel fish is another useful tool when one is out alone navigating the dating world, especially if one is getting messages from crazy people. To illustrate the usefulness of one such tool, let me please begin by showing you an ACTUAL message I received (edited for my poor mother’s sake)…

First, the SUBJECT line:

you so the star stuff an what i want to get to know a
lot an what i dream of

Naturally, I was intrigued. So I proceeded to the body of the message…

From: Aundrez
Date: Feb 4, 2008 10:20 AM


ok so what are you doing an is you up to an do you have going on ? I so want to get to know you . Like what is up good morn an tell me some thing good love .

I couldn’t resist, so I responded…

From: Tasha
Date: 05/02/2008


Something good eh? I can't say anything really comes to mind at the moment. Can you think of anything?

Would you believe it? He thought of something! AND at four o’ clock in the MORNING!

Date:Feb 6, 2008 4:09 AM

Subject:

RE: you so the star stuff an what i want to get to know a
lot an what i dream of

I can an i do an i want to think of an do lots of things good wit an for an to you . Muah to your most wanted face an curls an just most deliteful style. I so want you do not tease me please me . your to much the art work to be half ass or not did all good. I so want you in me life. I am grown an i know what is up ok . How was your sleep? Like for sure i am trying to be your give you five an wax on an wax off man . I so want to hold your every thing an inbrace your love an beauty an feel the glory of your be me douty. Muah

Now that last message was a lot for me to handle, and WAY too much for me to understand. What exactly is a wax on wax off man? So we took a guess on what language might be correct (unfortunately Pirate isn’t available) and plugged it in to the Babel Fish. THEN we translated it BACK to English to see if it would clarify anything. Here’s what we came up with:

French - I put out of box I make I want to think of make a good number of good spirit of things for to you. Muah with your more desired face curves a model deliteful just. I want you thus does not tease me to satisfy myself your much the work of art to being half of ass or not to make good. I thus want you in me the life. I am developed I know what is to the top of ok. Go did how your sleep? Are you foutu approximately or you were make you you project it or is there a call of spoils until you wait with interest one to want? As for sure I try to be your elasticity you five a wax on a wax in addition to man. I want to thus hold your each thing a inbrace your love a beauty one to feel that the glory of your is me douty. Muah

Oh yes… “desired face curves a model”… THAT sounds promising…

Dutch - I can I do I want think of much things well verstand for to you do. Muah your face wanted most to curl correct most deliteful style. I do not want this way you me please to tease me your to the much art work to be or already well half do rest. I want you this way in me living. I am grown I weet what is omhoog o.k.. How was your sleep? If without doubt try I your to be give you five was on was of people. I want love this way your each thing inbrace your love a beauty a feeling the glorie your douty me am. Muah

Yes… What IS omhoog?

Italian - Inscatolo I make I wish to think next to I make the lotteries of good spirit of things for you. Muah to yours makes wished curlings one deliteful more just style. Therefore I wish them I do not take in turn for soddisfarlo. yours to the a lot the work to it of art for being average ass or in order not to make all the good ones. Therefore me I wish life to them. Me development I know that what is on the approval. How it was your sleep? As for sure I am trying to being your give you five one wax on one wax outside of the man. Therefore I wish to hold your every thing inbrace a your love a beauty a tact that the glory of yours is me douty. Muah

Ahhhh… “Me development I know that what is on the approval”. Would this sound better if it was whispered into my ear?

Russian - I preserve I make I want to think I make a series of the wit of the things of good for to you muah to your, is which they want to the side of curl valid deliteful type. 4 so I want you I do not tease me in order to please to me your to much work of iskysstva, it is which necessary to be with half ass or not to make at all good. 4 so I want you in me life. I grow I I know upward on o'keyu. How there was your sleep? As for confident I attempt to be your pliability you 5 wax on wax from the man. 4 so I want to hold your each thing inbrace your love beauty chyvstvo, is which the glory of your by me douty. Muah

Oh I get it now – “As for confident I attempt to be your pliability”. He’s CONFIDENT he wants me to toy with him like Play-DOH! I think four trips through Alta Vista has helped me see the light… this is DEFINITELY the guy for me!

The Best Question of All

When you're a Single Mom out in the free world trying to determine what's real and what's not, you need a quick and easy test to know who's right for you. I do believe I have found it! This simple test can be used any ANY stage of a relationship, and is also useful to use on friends, neighbors, and complete strangers you might want to get to know a little better. After this test, you will KNOW with absolute certainty whether anyone is worth your time. What can this magical test possibly be? It's so easy you will THANK ME for dispensing such useful advice. Are you ready for it? All you have to do is ask one simple question:

"What 5 songs would you put on an Ipod for me?"

The faint of heart will run at the task, the truly cautious will put much thought into it, and the lurking lothario will quickly spout out a list of cheesy yet inappropriate (for you) easy listening love songs. If there's any Roberta Flack (and that's not your thing) then you have clearly been misjudged. The person who is right for you will know that this is about telling your FEELINGS, but also about finding music that is RIGHT.

With that ALL being said, here are the 5 songs that my friend Sara so adeptly chose for my current state of mind, after I'd told her the songs that had been picked for me by others. When I'm ready to date again, I definitely think I'll let Sara do the choosing....

1. Home by Sheryl Crow

2. This Love by Maroon 5

3. Thinking about you by Norah Jones

4. It's no good by Depeche Mode

5. Up against the wall by Patti Rothberg

I am grateful to be a person who takes chances sometimes, and stays inside looking out at other times...


Norah Jones - Thinking About You lyrics